In the future we'll all be gay
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
