He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just high enough for therapy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
