her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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