i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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