Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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