week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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