i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Randomize
