shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
