jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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