i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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