was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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