If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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