my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
