I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
