what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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