like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
