so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
