I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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