How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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