found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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