Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
