have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
