Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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