On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
