I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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