Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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