I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
