Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
you never un-have a 4some
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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