let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
