If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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