I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Damn victory sex feels great
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize