just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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