Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
