Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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