Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
