is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
