I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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