Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
