I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
how does that bad decision feel?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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