Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
