We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
