I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
