Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
People in love make me want to vomit
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
