i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
