It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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