Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
