Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
