just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Randomize
