Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Pants are for mortals
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
