i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
