do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
