All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
