if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
