Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
