Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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