Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
