I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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