She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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