Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
