I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
