I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
