About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
