dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
