every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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