Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
