Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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