Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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