btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
