Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I would fuck him just for his dog
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize