Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
