You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
