In the future we'll all be gay
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
