We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
