When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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