that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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