glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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