when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
