You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
