One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
