It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
